Scouting Report: Do the Yankees do that?

April 27, 2009

For the last few years, I’ve had this gut feeling based on nothing more than frustrations, that the Red Sox do a better job of scouting the Yankees than vice versa.

Does anyone know anything about advance scouting. Might the Red Sox be better prepared to exploit our weaknesses than we are? It just seems like they always have us on our heels a little bit.

Ok, a lot bit.


April 14 v. Tampa: Some Bad Motherfuckers.

April 15, 2009

If I could paint a picture of last night’s game and frame it and hang it on the wall with soft lighting and an expensive frame, I would. If the Yankees 2009 season can resemble last nights game, we’re in for a fun summer.

Why do I love this game so much? Let me count the ways.

1) From the jump, Apple Jacks was dealin. He needed to give the bullpen a rest, and he needed to be efficient and he was. A no hitter through 6 and not a no-hitter that can be snarked about “A 9 walk no hitter.” He walked one, and just flat out dominated a good hitting team.

2) A little swagger. Garza knocked Swish down with a fastball, Swish got up and took Garza out of the park. Then Burnett sent Longoria to the deck. Don’t fuck with the Yankees.

3)Swisher’s continued awesomeness, HR, Double, need me to pitch tonight? No? Cool. Just let me know.

4) Burnett’s awesomeness. Even better than the 6 innings of no hit ball were the two innings that transpired after the no hitter was lost. Burnett gave up 3 consecutive singles in the 7th. But instead of melting down, overthrowing, losing the zone, he wriggled out of the jam with minimal damage done. In the eighth he bounced back strong and retired the side in order. Warmed my cold steel heart.

5) Jeter’s home run. Everytime I’m about to stick a fork in Jeter he jumps off the BBQ and smacks me in the face.

6) Brian Bruney throwing fucking laser beams past the Rays to end it. That was brilliant, they couldn’t even foul anything off. When Brian Bruney is feelin’ it, he’s a force to be reckoned with.

Of course the one fly in the soup last night was that Xavier Nady might have blown his elbow out. But I’m not gonna dwell on that right now.

Your Attention Please

April 14, 2009

All of those folks who thought the Yankees would be better off without Alex Rodriguez….you are wrong. This guy might have a great box jump but he’s pretty bad at things like hitting a baseball, catching a baseball, and throwing a baseball.

Also, Brett Gardner, for all his game changing speed has looked pretty darn pathetic in the field this season. Also, he can’t hit. At all.

Two Chinese guys walk into a bar

April 8, 2009

Except that one of them is Japanese, and the other one is Taiwanese, and they didn’t walk into a bar, they’re gonna walk into a baseball stadium, and instead of asking a horse, “why the long face?” they’re gonna play baseball against each other.

Ha Ha Ha!

I love jokes.

Opening Day for Stupidity

April 7, 2009

My favorite part of the day after opening day is how everybody overreacts to what happened in the first game of the season. Let’s take a spin around the ol’ internets and see how various people who like to write about baseball are reacting to the Yankees opening day loss.

WasWatching is pretty tame this morning, although Lombardi takes the opportunity to quote himself saying that Brian Bruney is unreliable. The thesis here is basically that Bruney is the Daisuke Matsuzaka of relief pitchers. Which is weird because I’m pretty sure Lombardi is the same guy who has crucified Cashman for losing out on Matsuzaka, so you’d think that being the Matsuzaka of relief pitchers would be a good thing. He doesn’t give up a lot of hits, he strikes out a lot of guys, but Lombardi says you can’t count on the guy because he’s been hurt twice. Me, I’d be more concerned with the fact that Bruney walks like 6 guys per 9 innings but I think Lombardi just judges players by the cut of their jib and then backs into some sort of rationale.

What’s more entertaining about the WasWatching post was this gem…

…is it just me, or, is it easier to say “A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk” than it is to say that thought on CC and Tex?

I don’t even know what to say about that.

So here’s a picture of Steve Jobs looking as perplexed as I am.

At LoHud, Pete Abraham wisely points out that last season the Yankees won the season opener, and we all know how the rest of the year ended. As goofy and out to get A-Rod as Abraham is sometimes, he makes a good point. His broski Sam Borden, also at LoHud, says Sabathia will never get a second chance to make a first impression. While technically correct, I think that’s bullshit and certainly not worthy of a column. As a matter of fact, if CC is lights out in the home opener, I think yesterday’s game will be totally forgotten.

Here’s to you Mister Robinson

April 7, 2009

If I was not a native english speaker, I might call people Mister…and then their first name. If that were the case, I’d call Robinson Cano, Mister Robinson. It would be endearing and probably would get me laid a lot.

Cano walked twice yesterday and got a single. So that’s what you call encouraging. Also, washed up old Derek Jeter had three hits.

The rest of the game was a hot steaming mug of letdown, but what really pisses me off is that there’s a fucking offday today. I mean, are they that tired from playing one baseball game? If I were a player I’d want to save the off day for like August.

The best day ever.

April 6, 2009

I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain…I hope.

-The Shawshank Redemption

No, not because the NCAA tournament ends today, because today the world returns to normal. During the baseball offseason, I always feel as though there is a hole in the world.

There’s a void where something sunny and warm belongs. So, despite the fact that it’s about 40 degrees, cloudy and snowy in Chicago today, I finally feel as though everything is back in place.

The 2009 season figures to be an interesting one for Yankee fans. The team spent aggressively and secured not one, but both of the hottest free agents in Mark Teixeira and CC Sabathia. They also added A.J. Burnett, a pitcher with filthy stuff but a history of injury. If CC and Tex live up to the expectations, this season will definitely be interesting. If Burnett stays healthy he should be the most dominant number three starter in the game.

There are interesting storylines related to some of the Yankees old guard as well. The best player on the team, Alex Rodriguez, is out for a month with hip trouble. Derek Jeter is baseball old, and looks it. Jorge Posada is coming off shoulder surgery, as is Mariano Rivera.

Robinson Cano who has all the promise in the world, turned in an atrocious season in 2008 and needs to rebound to inject some life into the Yankees offense. The outfield is suspect. 35 year old Johnny Damon starts in left, Xavier Nady and his career .335 OBP start in right, with light hitting rookie speed demon Brett Gardner patrolling center. Forgive me if I’m  not giddy about that trio.

The bullpen looks to be as deep and cost controlled as any Yankee pen since the early decade glory days.

I have high hopes for the team this year, if  a few things break right I can see the Yankees going deep into the post season. If injuries pile up, especially to the most well paid Yankees, it could be a long summer. But it will be summer, and it will be baseball, and all will be right with the world.